


The Four Times Erik Was A Prick And The One Time He Was... Still A Prick

by Sonamae



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Erik Being Cocky, Erik being an asshole, M/M, Sassy Charles, paraplegic jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 00:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2045916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamae/pseuds/Sonamae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik doesn't have a filter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Four Times Erik Was A Prick And The One Time He Was... Still A Prick

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻譯】有四次Erik表現得像個渣，有一次他......還是個渣(by Sonamae)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3379109) by [smallhead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallhead/pseuds/smallhead)



> I don't have a beta and I'm impatient, if you see anything just let me know.

 Hank parked him at the top of the hill and said ‘I’ll be right back,’ which he wouldn’t because he was fighting, but at least he was courteous.  Charles can’t do much from here, not with that silly telepathic suppressor Sentinel beeping away in the center of the fight.  His team is doing well though, in a manner of speaking.  After all, no one has died yet so he considers that ‘doing well.’  
  
 But then three more giant robots sprout up from the ground and Charles groans.  Why giant robots of all things?  Why couldn’t they just leave it at robots?  Why make them giant?  
  
 There’s a loud ‘whoosh’ of air beside him and suddenly there are mutants running at the newer robots and screaming.  It’s uncoordinated and most of them look like they should be in middle school… oh and one of them has tripped.  He should unpark himself and go help that poor boy up.  
  
 “Charles, how lovely to see you.” Erik, no, Magneto, walks up beside him with a smirk. “No, no, don’t stand up on my account.” Charles blinks at him, eyes widening.  He looks down at his wheelchair and then leers as he slowly looks up at Erik.  
  
 His face goes from cocky to outright embarrassed.  Almost mortified.  Charles doesn’t even have to _say_ ‘ _How dare you_ ,’ because honestly it’s Erik.  He can do better than a simple how dare you.  
  
 “Why would I stand up for you?  Even if I could I’d rather sit here and remind you that you crippled your only friend.” Charles bends and folds the edge of his afghan.  
  
\--  
  
 There’s a new enemy out there and the X-Men aren’t equipped well enough to deal with it.  Charles makes the executive decision to call Erik and ask for help.  They agree to meet in the park and at first Charles is leery of the idea, but then he remembers it’s been months since the last time he spoke to Erik.  Surely by now he’ll have grown up.  
  
 Scott takes him this time, and it’s nice to have him there.  Erik is already at the meeting spot, reading a book on a park bench.  He looks up when they approach and smiles.  No.  
  
 He smirks.  
  
 “Charles!  How lovely to see you, here.  Have a seat… oh wait.” There’s a teasing in his tone and Scott’s hand flies up to his visor.  Charles stops him by placing his hand on his arm.  
  
 He’ll have to keep teaching him a lesson it seems.  
  
 “Of course I’ll have a seat.  Right here, where it’s dry.  How’s that wet, soggy bench?” He asks.  Scott snorts and turns away as Erik narrows his eyes at him and snaps his book shut.  
  
\--  
  
 “Hank, this is absolutely brilliant!” Charles smiles and pats Hank on the back, then turns his chair to look at the test tubes. “The amount of progress you’ve made on this study alone!” He’s so excited he doesn’t even hear Erik walk into the room.  
  
 He picks up a clipboard and flips through it, squinting at the words.  Charles turns and jumps slightly, he hadn’t felt Erik come in with the helmet keeping him out of his mind. “Oh, Erik… I was just congratulating Hank on his progress in understanding the new schematics we acquired.” Erik turns and tries to keep a smirk off his face.  
  
 “Oh?  May I see?” Hank gratefully shows him, and Erik beams and pats his arm. “Too bad he can’t give you a standing ovation, am I right my boy?” He turns and Charles restrains Hank from hitting him with his mind.  
  
 “How’s your eyesight, Erik?” Charles asks with a smirk. “Aren’t you going blind by now you decrepit old fool?  Come here and help me out of this chair so I can smack you.” Erik laughs and walks over, letting Charles playfully hit his arm.  
  
 He wipes the memory from Hank’s mind and replaces it with Erik tripping on his way out of the lab.  
  
\--  
  
 The sugar jar is empty.  Normally that wouldn’t be an issue, normally Charles would just let someone know and they would refill it at their leisure.  Sadly, no one is around and Charles is craving a cup of very sweet tea.  Unfortunately the bag of sugar everyone uses to refill the jar is one shelf higher than Charles can reach.  He contemplates calling someone and pleading with them just for a bag of sugar, but he’s spared the indignity.  
  
 Erik walks in and smiles, helmet looking extra obnoxious today. “Wonderful evening Charles, I was about to make a cup of tea.” He smiles when he says it, leaning against the doorway to the pantry.  Charles glares at him without ever moving.  
  
 He knows Erik takes his tea without sugar, he’s here for a reason. “So was I.” Charles smiles and crosses his hands over one another on top of his left thigh.  
  
 “Oh, but the sugar jar is still empty, isn’t it,” and there is a nasty look on his face as he plucks the bag off the shelf and takes it towards the table, “it _is_ a shame that seat of yours doesn’t work like a high chair or a stepping ladder.” Charles bites the side of his tongue as Erik starts scooping the perfect amount of sugar into his cup. “Not that you could even use a stepping ladder, but you understand, don’t you?” The spoon lifts off the table and settles into the cup, stirring gently so it doesn’t clink against the glass.  
  
 Charles could say any number of things, but mostly he’s just upset.  Really, this was what Erik wanted to do today?  Two could play at that game.  While Erik’s busy fixing two cups of tea, Charles lifts the back of the other mans cape and hooks the frayed edge to one of the grooves on the table leg.  Erik passes Charles his cup without even noticing.  
  
 “I hope you have a lovely morning, Erik.” Charles sips his cup with one hand, then maneuvers his wheelchair with the other and wheels right out of the kitchen.  As he turns the corner he hears a loud rip and several curses.  His tea tastes even sweeter as he smirks.  
  
\--  
  
 There are a dozen copies of Charles Xavier around the room, each identical to the last.  All of them swears they are the right Charles, the _real_ Charles, but Erik can’t be sure.  Only that’s not true, because he _can_ be sure, he just doesn’t want to stoop to that level.  The mutant they are facing giggles from behind some crates and Erik groans.  If he doesn’t do something soon, he’ll never find the real Charles.  
  
 He’ll be stuck listening to this little girl prattle on about how her powers are ‘far superior to any of yours.’  Children can really be frustrating sometimes.  
  
 The trump card in this situation is that this girl knows nothing about either of them beyond their powers.  It’s also going to make Charles hate him.  
  
 “Darling, I’ve had enough of you sitting about.  Get out of that chair and come here so I know it’s you.” One of the Charles’ scoffs.  Eleven others stand up.  Erik breaks them all like china dolls and then stomps toward the little girl.  
  
 “Did you really have to do that?” Charles asks as Erik scoops the girl up by the back of her shirt.  
  
 “I know you’d never stand up for me on your own account my love, being crippled saved you for once.” He doesn’t even complain when Charles hits him in the thigh with the nearest book.  “I mean it!  I know it’s awful but it’s the only thing I could think of.”  
  
 “You could have just asked her when we got married.” Charles grumbles as Erik lifts him off the floor and into the nearest chair.  He floats that over to the door and makes sure Charles is within reach.  
  
 “January 25th.” Erik mutters.  
  
 “How sweet, you remembered.”

**Author's Note:**

> Cross this off the list of things I promised I'd do.


End file.
